Your success is your responsibility. Own it.
Well… most people likely read that and think something like, “I have to start doing X 100%!”
That’s nonsense. Extreme, all-in, perfectionistic thinking translates into a sense of inadequacy and failure.
Owning your responsibility is partly about accepting the fact that life is a wild ride. There is no 100% all-in. Even the most dedicated have to dial their focus up and down relative to what’s happening in their lives. If you can’t get on board with that expectation, you’re going to be spinning your wheels for a long, long time. And truthfully… I feel sorry for you. It’s a large part of what drives me to write so much about the psychological side of fitness opposed to exercise and nutrition.
Your worth has little to do with one inevitably shitty day, week, or whatever. I believe that. Do you?
What owning your responsibility is really about, though, is building habits and rituals into your daily routines that honor the person you’re striving to become.
Act and therefore be.
But, again, people can get carried away with the notion of building habits and rituals into their daily routines.
For example, if I were someone who drinks 5 sodas per day, with the first one being with lunch, and I want to stop this habit… I can approach this one of two ways:
1) I’m the kind of person who no longer drinks soda. All I drink is water.
Never mind the fact that you’ve drank 5 sodas per day for the last 10 years!!
That’s a large itch to not scratch from here on out!
2) I’m the kind of person who drinks 4 sodas per day. I drink one with lunch, one between lunch and dinner, one with dinner, and one between dinner and bed.
In other words… part of owning your responsibility is meeting yourself where you’re at. Teasing change rather than forcing it. Coaxing rather than punishing.
Stop kidding yourself and start building realistic change into your life! It’s going to look a lot different from person to person so stop thinking in terms of “is this enough?” I’d argue that you’ll milk much more progress from your days once you start framing things with a general curiosity about tiny actions. “If I make this one tiny alteration, what happens? How will I feel? What will I learn?”
“Not enough” is the language of unhappy people. If the tiny change you’re considering is a step in the desired direction and you feel that it meets you where you’re at – physically and emotionally – great job.
As it becomes your new normal – and it will with repetition and consistency – you can add a little more.
Rome wasn’t built in a day.
What’s the next tiny change you’re going to start experimenting with right now?